| Thunder Sandwich #17
|
 dweeb by jeff filipski |
| Whorehunter cruises Hollywood Blvd. east of Western tanked on the need helming his big long baby blue Cadillac car like he was Elvis The King a man with a mission he's looking to do the wild thing he digs the black chicks likes to take them back to his pad and go down on them let the horny devil in his tongue do the talking dance on their sweet pussies like Alladin's lamp calling out the genie of their sweet cherry juices and set them free from what he would tell me most of them would refuse simply because they thought he was nuts what John in his right mind wants to eat prostitute pussy? Whorehunter is a high wire act without a net an expert at psychic roulette who lives for the feeling of catching death pants down around his knees he tells me that sometimes he likes to make like Superwhorehunter jumping between some hooker in distress and her pimp in the act of getting his bitch's head on right a death wish without a doubt so one nite The Hunter pulls up in a small rented car jumps out screaming at us for help he's got a great big black he/she hooker from down in Thai Town on the line tweaking and raging all done up in tights and tu tu sez that the bitch won't get outta the car cause she wants the 20 bucks for a blow job he never got shit any fool knows better than to jump into the middle of a domestic dispute especially one involving some big ass he/she hooker on meth sure as hell she/he produces a blade and shreds the seats into spaghetti like strips then snatches the rear view mirror clean off in one flawless don't fuck with me kung fu move then stomps away in furious Missy Scarlett Gone With The Wind style disappearing around the corner and into the now you don't see me anymore fog of darkness because tomorrow is indeed another day Whorehunter flags down a black & white then tells the coppers for real about this crazy fucking hooker that jacked his rental car the cops are stupified behind his tale of urban woe they just drop their heads down and nod like they got a winner in the loser lottery look at each other and snicker then trying to be serious look up all soberlike to get the rest of his story give him the old we'll be on the lookout wave goodbye and drive away laughing like hell can't wait to tell the boys at the station about this one for years after he'd retired his Cadillac charge from the chase and hung up his cape Whorehunter would claim that he didn't know that that she was a he that night finally one day he confided in me, "I knew it was a guy. He had done me a few weeks before. Yeah, we did the wild thing." I told him that he was crazy back then and he sez no he was doing research for his book damned guy's lucky to be alive that big blue Cadillac is one big beautiful dream of a car like a hotel on wheels it means you've arrived whoever you are |
< Back
| ISSN: 1534-4037 |
Edited by Jim Chandler & Haze McElhenny
|