Nothing to lose sometimes, I stand very still and simply watch.
I stand on the corner in the shade; it's very hot out, as hot as I can ever remember it being here. People pass right by me sweating. As I watch, men across the street are gutting out a house.
The frontage has gone and you can see each floor. I look into each room on both stories like an opened playhouse on some kid's bedroom carpet.
I try and pay attention, but it's hard.
Soon a man appears and looks at me. A very large man. He shouts over.
"You WORKING, or what?"
I'm not working, but I must look like I am or that I want to or something.
I stare at him. And shrug my shoulders.
"WELL?"
I go over there, people have started to look.
"Where's your gear?"
Again I shrug.
"Here."
He hands me a sledge. I take it. Try and get a good grip.
"Where's your gloves?"
"Lost 'em." I said.
"Shit."
He fished down behind a bag.
"Here."
The old gloves were dusty but fitted alright. Made my hands twice their actual size.
Holding the sledge, I grinned.
"Go on then." He said. "Get to work."
I stepped pass him and into the open house. It's still early. People are working like they mean it and it's dark in there.
I blink and try to get a sense of it.
Following through to a backroom, there are men working at either wall except one central and towards the back.
I go over. Look it up and down, and take a last look at the others hard at work. They haven't even seen me.
Feeling the grip on my sledge I pull it back over my shoulder, pick a spot, and swing it hard around my head.
I begin to hack away.
I get up a good rhythm and start pounding.
Soon I've got a sweat on but as I pound it out nothing's coming off the wall.
I keep going.
Still nothing.
Not a crumb.
I pound and I pound, sweating, heaving, like my life depends on getting through that wall. But it gets heavier and my chest is getting tight.
I give it up. Stand there looking blankly at the brick and mortar.
Behind me someone's laughing.
I turn on him.
"What you doing?"
Three of them are standing there. A minute later there are four.
"You crazy?"
"Who told you to work on that?"
"That's a foundation wall."
"You'll never get it down."
"If you did, we'd all be buried."
"He's lost it."
"How long you been working here?"
"You want to kill us all?"
I look at them. And they start up laughing once again.
I drop the sledge, pull off both my gloves and walk back out into the sunshine.
It comes down on me and starts to burn.
I forget the shade. And I don't look back because I KNOW each room in there holds a man laughing at me and the thing I tried to do.
|
